Before attempting to fix the issues around us,

we need to fix those inside us

Our underlying aspiration is to help all beings end their suffering. A noble goal. But before we can hope to fix even small problems in the world, we need to fix the problems within us. How can I tell others how to resolve their conflicts when anger still smolders within me? How can I end discrimination when I view everything in terms of like and dislike, smiling at some while ignoring others? How can I resolve ecological issues when I squander natural resources and treat Earth like a garbage dump? How can I correct government corruption and deceit when I avoid paying taxes and am not truthful with my family and co-workers. Until we clean our own house, people will not listen to us when we tell them how to clean theirs. And why should they? We influence others through our behavior. Yes, words are important, but they need to be supported by actions. And if our actions are altruistic and pervasive, words can become unnecessary.

Before correcting someone,

determine why they’re acting as they are. 

Most of us would probably agree that just because some people act differently from the way we do, they’re not necessarily wrong. At least we know it intellectually. Emotionally, in light of the judgmental opinions rattling around our head, we still believe those people are wrong. If we recall something that just happened and how we viewed it, we will realize how many of our thoughts are still critical. Having felt exasperated, disappointed, bewildered, shocked, we blamed others for not having acted correctly; correctly being defined as how we would have acted. By learning why people conducted themselves as they did, we will better understand their actions. Maybe we will realize that what they did wasn’t wrong after all. Just different. So in those situations when we do need to correct someone—an employee, a child, someone who requests our guidance—we first need to learn what prompted their behavior.

Don’t get lost in regrets 

of not having done something.

Do it now. 

The past is just that: the past. Our reality fixed in time. Bemoaning what we did, or failed to do, accomplishes little. If we were supposed to have done something, we would have. Since we didn’t, we clearly hadn’t planted enough seeds and nurtured enough conditions to accomplish it. Clearly hadn’t managed to overcome our selfish, lazy habits. Clearly hadn’t wanted to bother ourselves. Now, disappointed by our failure, we can sink further into dismay, or we can rouse ourselves and make amends. Or, painfully no longer having such an option, find ways to be kinder to those still in our life. We cannot alter our past mistakes because they are fixed in time. But we can remedy our selfishness, bad habits, and inclination to make poor choices, which are not yet irrevocably set. To accomplish this, we need to leave the past, pay attention to the present, and keep an eye on the future.

Do your best,

and remember that being able to accomplish something

depends on conditions.

Life would be much easier if we knew in advance whether our efforts would prove productive. If they would, we could proceed. If not, we could cease our labors knowing that whatever we did, they were doomed to failure. Very simple. Alas, most of us do not have the calm, clear mind to determine whether conditions will prove favorable. And so we need to proceed as best we can, always trying to work around problems as they arise, placing one foot in front of the other. At times we just plod on in hopes that our good intentions will join with skillful means to find fertile conditions. For all we know, our good-intentioned plodding may be just what is needed. Alternatively, it may not be enough. Either way, we will have planted positive seeds for our future. Then, saying we did the best we could, let go of regret and disappointment.

Hold phenomena in your hand, 

not your heart. 

Attachments—those myriad things we cling to that bind us to endless rebirths and suffering. And so, those who hope we will free ourselves of suffering, advise us to let go of our attachments. But such advice sounds like being told we should exist in a monochrome world when those around us relish a world ablaze with color. If we think this way, we have misunderstood. When we relinquish attachments, we can still hold the person, the object, the experience, the idea in our hands, marveling at being able to hold them thus, awed by how something so precious has come to us. What we do not do is hold the phenomena in our heart, seeking to keep them always with us, never wanting to let them go as if we were clutching a rare songbird. Clasping the bird in our heart, it will die, crushed by our clinging. Allowing it to rest lightly on our hand, it will thrust out its chest to joyously sing, while we are filled with delight, not attachments.