January 9, 2007 
If you know anything that is hurtful and untrue, do not say it.
If you know anything that is helpful but untrue, do not say it.
If you know anything that is hurtful but true, do not say it.
If you know anything that is both helpful and true, find the right time.
January 8, 2007 Shall we strive for everlasting bliss
And perfect peace for ourselves, alone?
Until all sentient beings achieve this,
Our responsibility has not been satisfied.
But why should we be responsible?
Because our success depends upon
The help of all other sentient beings,
Which is our solemn duty to repay.
We cannot look with favor upon some,
While drawing away from still others,
Or be indifferent to all of the rest.
Striving for our own self-happiness
While avoiding all that is unpleasant
Is a selfish expression of the ego.
Helping your friends while hating our enemies
Is a hindrance and a bad habit, at best.
We must show equanimity to all beings
As they are all deserving of our help,
In seeking happiness and peace.
Even the friends that we have in this life
Were strangers before ever we met,
Neither helping or hindering our search.
Friendship may not last forever
And friends may become enemies, one day.
Equanimity means treating everyone the same,
With no one being better or worse.
All sentient beings seek happiness,
And enlightenment should be sought by all.
Equanimity means all being equal, in our eyes,
Whether friend, enemy, or stranger.
All need our help and our love,
So equanimity means everyone helping everyone.
~ Llamo Samadhana ~
January 7, 2007 In Conscience and Courage, Eva Fogelman writes "It was not a whim that lead these people to risk their lives and those of their families, but a response, almost a reflexive action in some cases, that came from core values developed and instilled in them in childhood." (1)
Holocaust rescuers were raised in families that provided a nurturing environment. The children developed a sense of self-worth and the ability to care for others. The care the rescuers received became part of their character, an integral part of the way they functioned in society.
When we know how to look, we will see continuous causality functioning all around us. A cause has a result, which in turn becomes another cause with another result, anther cause, another result, and on and on it goes. In this case, children had the causes and conditions to be born into a loving, nurturing family. This care resulted in their becoming people who risked their lives to do what they knew was right.
Good values result in virtuous actions. Causality at it's finest.
(1) Conscience and Courage, Eva Fogelman, Anchor, p. 253
January 6, 2007 Example is not the main thing
in influencing others.
It is the only thing.
~ Albert Schweitzer ~
January 4, 2007 
I am often asked for advice on how to raise children. While in New York recently, I read Conscience and Courage: Rescuers of Jews During the Holocaust by Eva Fogelman. The book has dozens of accounts of gentiles who risked their lives to save Jews from the Nazi regime.
Fogelman explores the reasons people were able to act in such extraordinary ways. She discovered that most of them shared five similar humanistic values.
There was “a nurturing, loving home; an altruistic parent or beloved caretaker who served as a role model for altruistic behavior; a tolerance for people who were different; a childhood illness or personal loss that tested their resilience and exposed them to special care; and an upbringing that emphasized independence, discipline with explanations (rather than physical punishment or withdrawal of love), and caring.” (1)
A caring, nurturing family, altruistic role models, tolerance for those who are different, and an upbringing that stresses independence as well as discipline coupled with explanations, are excellent bases that families can use today. Such values can help parents to raise children who will have the courage to do what is right in life.
Hopefully, none of us will face the horrific circumstances those at the time of the Nazi regime had to. But children and teenagers will face peer pressure, and adults will come up against workplace ethical issues. Whether at school, work, or in social interactions; altruism, tolerance, and unconditional care will help our children to make the right decisions.
(1) Conscience and Courage, Eva Fogelman, Anchor, p. 254