Compassion Tempered with Wisdom
April 4, 2010 Compassion is the intention and capability to lessen suffering and, ultimately, to transform this suffering. When we adopt an awareness imbued with compassion, we seek to ease others’ pain. But in our wish to help, more often than not, we react emotionally and end up getting carried away by our feelings. At times we empathize so completely with what someone is going through that we subject ourselves to the same distress. So instead of one person suffering, there are now two miserable people!
Instead of reacting emotionally, we need to learn to temper our compassion with wisdom. Then we will know how to better help one another. We will also realize that an individual’s circumstances are the result of past karmas. Therefore, it may well be next to impossible for us to improve another’s situation. This realization does not mean that we should stop caring about others or dismiss their difficulties as being their own fault. It means we understand that our wanting to alleviate their suffering may instead be of benefit to them in the future, in ways we cannot foresee.
So be compassionate, but do not focus on getting immediate positive results. Do not get wrapped up in egoistic thoughts, thinking that “I” can fix the problem. Without such expectations, we will not be disappointed or saddened when our attempts to help end in failure or, worse, aggravate the situation. We will not know how best to help if we fail to temper our compassion with wisdom. In other words, the person we want to help may not have the requisite conditions for us to do so.
When we stop focusing on immediate results and instead focus on just helping others, our compassion will ultimately benefit all beings. By planting the seeds of compassion—the wish for all beings to be happy and free of suffering—we can be confident that we have indeed helped others.
If we feel compassion for only certain people, then our compassion is limited, and thus our ability to lessen suffering in the future will likewise be limited. But when our compassion for all beings is equal and unconditional, then our compassion will be immeasurable and impartial. When we accomplish this, we will pervade all directions with awareness imbued with equanimity.
In the Western Pure Land of Amitabha Buddha, there are uncountable bodhisattvas, beings who are dedicated to helping all others end suffering. Widely known in this world and often depicted standing to Amitabha’s left is Avalokitesvara, or Guanyin Bodhisattva. Avalokitesvara is often translated as “Great Compassion Bodhisattva” or “She who hears the cries of the world.”
A very long time ago, Avalokitesvara vowed that if she ever became disheartened in saving sentient beings, may her body shatter into a thousand pieces. Once, after liberating countless beings from the hell realms by teaching them the Dharma, she looked back down into the hell realms. To her horror, she saw that the hell realms were quickly filling up again!
In a fleeting moment of despair, she felt profound grief. And in that moment, in accordance with her vow, her body shattered into a thousand pieces. She beseeched the Buddhas to help and many did. Like a fall of snowflakes they came. One of those Buddhas was Amitabha. He and the other Buddhas helped to re-form her body into one that had a thousand arms and hands, with an eye of wisdom in each hand. In this way, she could better help all sentient beings.
Whether you view this as a true account or a legend, there is a very important lesson here that can help us in our practice of compassion. When we first develop the bodhi mind—the mind set on helping all beings attain enlightenment, ourselves included—we will experience times when we are disheartened. At this point, we have two choices: go forward or give up. To go forward, we need to reestablish our confidence. We may do this under the guidance of a good teacher, through the support of a good spiritual friend, or through other means. If we do not go forward, we will fall back into ignorance and delusion.
It will help us at these difficult times to remember that we do not grow spiritually in good times, when everything is going our way. We grow spiritually and progress on the path of awakening in times of adversity. Just as steel is tempered by fire, our resolve is strengthened by hardship.
Avalokitesvara was shattered in a fleeting moment of despair. But through the strength of her aspiration to help all beings, she touched the hearts of those who had gone before her on the path. Due to her great vow and profound sincerity, she had created the causes for many Buddhas to help her when she was momentarily overwhelmed by the enormity of her chosen task. We too will encounter obstacles. When we do, our aspiration to help all beings will enable us to receive the help we need to move back onto the path.
Due to the depth of her vow to help, Avalokitesvara regarded all beings with equanimity. In the above story, in addition to the hell realms, she also went to the ghost, animal, human, demi-god, and heavenly realms teaching all those who had the affinity to learn from her. Each being was equally important, and so she taught each one as best she could. She did not discriminate and was not judgmental. She tirelessly and vigilantly listened for cries for help and found the beings who were suffering. She then taught them so they were able to advance on the path to awakening.
With similar equanimity, we too will view everything equally and in a balanced way. Often when we try to help others, we act impulsively and erratically, not wisely. We rush in to help one day and then feel like giving up the next. Without a pure, calm mind, we can lose our balance and fall from great enthusiasm to mind-numbing discouragement. Only when our minds are calm will we know how to truly benefit others.
Reader Comments (5)
That imbalance describes me very well! I find I put in effort but then can not sustain that effort and then fall back again. This yo-yo way of practicing is not very effective!
Am I trying too hard? Am I being too strict? And when I think I have run out of steam, instead am I simply being lazy?
... Two wings
...... One flight
Thank you Venerable.
Amituofo
~ We will also realize that an individual’s circumstances are the result of past karmas. Therefore, it may well be next to impossible for us to improve another’s situation.
~ It means we understand that our wanting to alleviate their suffering may instead be of benefit to them in the future, in ways we cannot foresee.
~Avalokitesvara was shattered in a fleeting moment of despair
~ the person we want to help may not have the requisite conditions for us to do so.
~she had created the causes for many Buddhas to help her when she was momentarily overwhelmed by the enormity of her chosen task. We too will encounter obstacles
~Without a pure, calm mind, we can lose our balance and fall from great enthusiasm to mind-numbing discouragement
~ Only when our minds are calm will we know how to truly benefit others
Thank you Venerable Wuling for this excellent writing.
I learned much, I identified with much and it confrmed somethings too.
I see this as both literal and symbolic for the Path.
In the future Venerable Wuling, could you please write about the Bodhisattava of Great Strength? She is one I know little of.
With Metta
Ama
This is another homerun in your writing, thank you ever so much for the due diligence you put forth wow!! I have two questions:
"requisite condition" taps my deep dark side and says ok so why try and get involved at all and not just sit back and be grumpy and just pray for them.
Or is that the point we really can't do anything?
Next question:
"If we feel compassion for only certain people, then our compassion is limited, and thus our ability to lessen suffering in the future will likewise be limited". I'm confussed, aren't we all suppose to be in the Pureland perfecting what we didn't get done here?
Thank you,
anybody
"’requisite condition' taps my deep dark side and says ok so why try and get involved at all and not just sit back and be grumpy and just pray for them."
Sitting back and not trying is not the way we develop our bodhi mind to help all beings. We try to help—wisely–but do not attach to the outcome. And when things do not work out as we wish, at least we had the heart to want to help. Sorting all this out takes wisdom, which arises from within when our minds are calm and we are selfless.
"If we feel compassion for only certain people, then our compassion is limited, and thus our ability to lessen suffering in the future will likewise be limited. I'm confussed, aren't we all suppose to be in the Pureland perfecting what we didn't get done here?"
We can only truly help when we no longer discriminate. If I don't plant the seeds to help all others unconditionally, I will not be able to reap the fruit of being able to help them. If I turn away from helping someone here, then even when I am in the Pure Land I will not be able to help because I will not have planted the requisite seeds.
Yes, we go to the Pure Land to help all beings but the conditions have to be present for us to do so.
One time the Buddha was requested to go speak to a woman. He tried several times but she kept turning away. She didn't want to listen. The Buddha knew her conditions were not right and so he did not force the issue. Neither did he become upset. He simply told the person who had requested him to speak to the woman that she wasn't ready.