After asking a question and receiving the reply,

remember to say “thank you.” 

If our parents were looking over our shoulder while we are emailing, they’d likely be shocked. “You forgot ‘thank you’!”

In an impersonal age of instantaneous communication, courtesy is too often relegated to the distant past. For example, a person emails another, perhaps with a question of how to do something. Perhaps asking a favor. The recipient stops what she’s doing to carefully compose a reply. It might be what the person needed to know; it might be regret for not being able to help.

She hits send.

And that’s it.

End of conversation.

It’s the end because the person who wrote the first email doesn’t respond with “thank you.” Or anything else. It’s akin to their asking for something, having it given to them, and, firmly grasping it in their hand, without a word turning and walking away. Most of us wouldn’t do this. And yet many don’t email “thank you.” We need to. Why?

It’s polite.

Politeness not a good enough reason? You may want to ask for another favor.

Letting go does not mean we don’t care,

it means we care wisely and unconditionally. 

Suggest to someone they “let go” and they’ll very likely think you’re telling them to stop caring. Clearly, that’s not what a Buddha would wish us to do.

By letting go, we don’t care less; we care more!

As someone recently described, it’s like having another presence between you and the person you are trying to help. It’s no longer just you—an expectation-ridden, self-oriented, willing but woefully inadequate ordinary being—standing before the person who desperately needs assistance. That presence serves as a buffer, a  magnifier, a helper.

In letting go as the Buddha taught, we find our ego, expectations, and viewpoints are filtered out. It’s as if all the “me” is eliminated from what is happening. As this occurs, our sincere wish to help, our empathy, and our limited wisdom are magnified.

And since we’re trying to practice as the Buddha taught, it’s as if we’re being assisted in our helping.

And we are.

Complete work on time, and, ideally, 

before it’s due. 

It’s happened to all of us.

Someone at work or in an organization we belong to fails to complete their assigned part of a joint project on time. Now it belatedly comes to us with a message that it’s up to us to get things back on schedule for the next deadline. Which is in six days. Including the weekend.

And so we work all day and into the night for the next several days, neglect our other jobs, frantically re-schedule prior commitments, and become frazzled. And extremely testy. Co-workers avoid us, and family members silently place our dinner on our desk then tiptoe out of the room.

Having gone through this ourselves, let’s not inflict it on others. This isn’t about better time management and not procrastinating, although they’re important.

It’s about respect—respect for those whose work follows ours. Respect for their time, their family, and all those we will inconvenience by failing to meet our responsibilities.